Living with a Bulldozer

                    Ambition, drive, determination. Do these words strike a chord in you? Do hearing these words, send a rush of adrenaline so strong that you leap from your seat? I have had the pleasure, well….not the pleasure but I was obliged to witness the force of ambitiousness from the front lines. My better half was, some would say, born with pure raw ambition that I would imagine he came into this world with his fist pumped into the air. Having so closely studied and experience such hurricane-powered ambition, made me generate a few worthy points of arguments and observations. Firstly, there would be major effects on those standing nearby. This is a warning, by the way, for those innocent bystanders. You would be either blown right out of the atmosphere or you would be sucked in so deep, there wouldn’t be any remnants of you left. Now many would say that the latter is actually a good thing. I would say so too. But there were quite a few occasions where the former took place and I found myself spinning out of control, breathless and in need of some control. Ideas, plans, solutions and opinions burst forth so quickly that many a times, I found myself panting with exhaustion just trying to keep up. These times, you would be angered by their boastfulness and ranting; thinking that they ramble on too much. You would smirk in distaste at their apparent confidence. Secretly, you would wish that you mirrored their demeanor although you would rather chop your arm in half than admit this.

                    Being sucked in, you would be drawn to their philosophical views; even though some views may be…ahem… totally off base. Enamored by their ability to control and lead. Struck by how they handle everything thrown at them with ease. Chances are some of these traits would rub off of you and you would be began imitating their behavior and habits subconsciously; I’ve seen this happen to many unsuspecting victims right before my very eyes. The poor things didn’t know what hit them. This is actually a good thing. They provide inspiration to those who don’t have it. They subconsciously push others to work harder and be better people. Failures would be no strangers.

                    Failures, disguised themselves in many forms; people, friends, projects, approvals, and so on. The determined do not get fazed by them. They greet them with aloofness, biding their time like a lion bides its time to catch a prey. The ones that hit hardest are the ones that disguise themselves in the form of friends or family. The two big Fs usually are the least expected and are hurtful in more ways than one. They would have had their share of people that stood toe-to-toe and mocked them. Laughed at them and even taking swipes at their failures; mind you there were many. Failures are often remembered long after success has come and gone. Success is brief and short-lived. Failures, on the other hand, leave their imprints behinds, pinching us every time we need a lesson. Usually, successes that come perforated with failures are often bittersweet. Over time, those who are driven, develop a wall towards emoting how they feel and react to failures. Some, however, carry this wall in many other aspects in life. I find myself reminding my better half to use the wall only when it is needed and not in personal matters. This proves to be a challenge to the ambitious for the wall keeps them secure and intact. At times, I did wonder if they were capable of emoting any sort of emotions. Not that they are incapable of emotions, which is often the misunderstanding. Just that, emoting becomes somewhat of a hassle and not preferred. Harnessing those emotions and controlling then becomes the preferred. Visualization is a tool used by the driven to fuel their engines.

                    Visualists, (there isn’t such a word by the way, I coined it!) look further beyond anybody can see. Their trajectory is high and their horizons, vast. They visualize their success long before it is set in motion. This helps them to understand what needs to be done now and what paths to take at the beginning. I was miffed when I was told blatantly that the way I carried myself and my articulacy suited his political and business goals as he needed someone to stand beside him as he calculatingly planned for world domination. Well, I’m glad that my posture and proficiency has been finally put into good use! This brings us back to the earlier point. Is everything done completely in tune with their ambition? How have they managed to strap up all their natural instincts, emotions and passions to be so in line with their aims? However, sometimes, they’re so busy looking forward, that they fail to see what’s standing beside them (helloooooo! *wave wave wave**). They might not stop to smell the roses. (Roses, they will argue, have no smell at all so what is there to smell?!!). Overall, ambitiousness is what success thrives on. We would be privileged to witness it first hand, but of course, not without some battle scars to proudly show off. The trait that I admire the most in such people is the animalistic survival skills that they have. They say, after all, it’s a jungle out there!

By Nitha Nathan


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